“No you don’t know how I feel. It’s not your life!”
As a loving parent there is nothing more heart breaking in life than watching your kid suffer. It doesn’t matter whether the pain is physical, mental or imagined. It doesn’t matter if it’s the type of pain that comes from learning a life lesson from a situation they’ve brought on themselves or if the pain is caused by something totally out of their control. When your baby aches you ache. You want to fight dragons, move mountains or whatever it takes to make the pain stop. But you can’t.
For the last year and a half The Hubby and I have walked, carried and dragged The Boy through a very painful and confusing journey in which his dreams were crushed. Some of the drama was due to his own teenage hard headedness and the rest of it fell into the old “life ain’t always fair” category. Problem is there is no dang manual to teach us parents how to make difficult times better in our children’s lives. There is no manual that tells us what to do after we’ve prayed and promised our child that everything is going to work out and time after time it doesn’t. There’s no manual that tells us what to do when we fear that the avalanche of disappointment will destroy our child’s spirit and make him believe that bad times “do” last always.
So we relied on our faith to carry us though the saga. But often times it seemed like the entire world was against us. The Hubby and I did the only thing we knew to do. We, along with our family, coaches and teachers kept on loving The Boy. While we cried our tears and vented our anger and frustration in private we knew this was a character building exercise of epic proportions.
We looked for every opportunity to help him mature through his pain. During the darker moments we held him. Many times there were no words just silence and the three of us standing as one. During the brighter moments we laughed loud and often, prayed with him, and pointed out what he could have done differently to avoid his troubles. We stressed the constant need for responsibility and self-discipline as a means of preventing anyone from ever interfering with his ability to reach his goals again. Through every agonizing moment we’ve watched The Boy grow stronger and wiser.
He also now knows that bad times “don’t” last always. Sunshine has finally parted his clouds answering all of his prayers. Meanwhile, The Hubby and I feel like we’ve just crawled off an emotional battlefield, all battered and bruised. But our solace comes in knowing and trusting that this journey has left The Boy well armed and equipped to win other battles that life will surely toss his way in the future.